Where To Begin?

My heart is in pieces. It’s so hard to know where to begin. I am typically a private person. I struggle with sharing my thoughts, my pain, my desires. I find it easier to hide and pretend things will change, will get better, or maybe some sort of miracle will take place.

I’ve cried to where there just aren’t anymore tears. I’ve been hurt so bad that there isn’t anymore pain. There’s anger and frustration, desperation, hurt and feelings of failure. But yet I have to somehow pull myself together and go on. I have 3 younger children I have to be there for. Who have to see me being the best mother I can be, for them. I have to help them make correct decisions, to be a good person, to grow into an honorable adult, to live the happy life they were meant to live.

That means I have to let one of my children go. Yes, I know how horrible that sounds. You don’t have to tell me. I know how that makes me feel like the biggest failure as a mother. I’ve been living it every second for months. I’ve been feeling it, and suffering through it, and trying to pull myself together for everyone else around me. And I’m broken.

Things are not getting better. I thought they were, either because I’m stupid or I just wanted to believe it, but they’re not. They’re worse. We’ve tried everything. Counseling doesn’t work when you lie to the counselor. Family time doesn’t matter when she’s not really there mentally. Church doesn’t help when she’s not there spiritually. 

There was no trust, but then there was some little by little. She was able to do a few things. School started. Maybe things would be better. It seemed like it was for 2 1/2 days. Then Friday night happened and the trust was all gone again. We had to make a decision. Try to save her life. Try to help her get to the age of 18 without any huge regrets. I had to save her younger brothers and sister from her influence. So we made a heart wrenching decision. To send her away. To pray for her and hope for the best.

You can’t help someone who doesn’t want to be helped. You can’t force someone to do what is right. You can’t love them into making the right decisions. They have to want it for themselves. Even if they are only 16. I want her to make it to 18 and become the beautiful young woman I know she can be. I want her to live the life she deserves. I want her to be truly happy with the decisions she makes. I want her to live without regret and have love in her life. 

She’s going away. She’ll be safe. She’ll be cared for and she’ll be loved. I hope she decides to change. To see that there is so much she has to offer. To start being honest with herself and others. And I want her to see the hurt she has caused because I want her to have feelings for others. To realize there is more to life than just taking and having a good time. I want her to see where true happiness comes from in her relationships with other people.

I don’t know how long it will be before we see her again. I don’t know when we will be able to trust her again. I don’t know if my heart will ever heal. I don’t know when that nauseous feeling will go away. But I pray it will happen and I pray we will have a daughter who lives a long and happy life full of love and honesty.

I apologize for not responding to emails and answering comments lately. I’m trying to get back on track and I promise to get to everything as soon as I can. Thank you for all your support and thank you for your prayers. They mean so much to me and my family.

{ 53 comments… add one }
  • Tina August 29, 2011, 9:47 am

    Oh how my heart aches at reading this. I am praying that God will absolutely overwhelm your daughter with HIS Love! That she will receive it and healing will begin for all of you!

  • Alison Brown August 29, 2011, 9:57 am

    I’m so sorry for your sadness. We were talking is RS yesterday about children who don’t live their lives they way you would want them to regardless of your best efforts. We talked about how you have to do the best you can and then leave it up to the Lord. Our RS president shared this quote from Russell M. Nelson’s April Conference Talk: “You faithful Saints do not have to fight life’s battles alone. Think of that! The Lord declared, “I will contend with him that contendeth with thee, and I will save thy children.” 17 Later came this promise to His faithful people: “I, the Lord, would fight their battles, and their children’s battles, and their children’s children’s, … to the third and fourth generation.” ” I hope that you will find some peace and be able to give your burden to the Lord so that he can help carry you through this time.
    From my own personal experiences I can say that it will be rough for a while, maybe a long while but there is hope, things may not always work out the way you want to but they can get better. There is always hope.

  • Kristy August 29, 2011, 10:12 am

    I am very sorry. We have struggled with our now 15 year old and some addiction issues for the past few years. It is not easy. I can only imagine your pain.

  • Suki L August 29, 2011, 10:14 am

    Your family including your daughter is in my prayers. I can’t think of any other words to say that may be of some comfort to you during this time. You are certainly not a failure for having to make this difficult decision. It may be the best thing for her and turn out to be a beautiful experience for her. You are not a failure!

  • Kyra August 29, 2011, 10:18 am

    Hugs. God bless.

  • Becky August 29, 2011, 10:19 am

    I’ll be praying for your family.

  • Amy August 29, 2011, 10:24 am

    While I haven’t walked this path as a parent, I have walked it as a friend and peer. It isn’t easy and you are right that you cannot love someone into changing. Your own actions are the only ones you can control. Have faith in your decisions and do what you feel led to do. Let yourself grieve but keep moving forward. I will pray for all of you.

  • Sadie Mills August 29, 2011, 10:35 am

    I am so sorry to hear about your struggles with your daughter. Your post brought me to tears as I relate to what your going though so very much. My 14 year old daughter left our home for similar reasons and it is gut-wrenching! I often beat myself up for the difficult decision but know it was what we all needed. I have 4 younger children and couldn’t bear to send them to school one more day in tears because of the turmoil that surrounds her right now. It was tearing my family apart. I miss her every minute and pray for her daily. She once yelled at me and told me to quit caring so much and praying for her all the time…it may be the best compliment I have ever received! Sadly I was her once. I know that at my lowest point I had strong roots to fall back on and I thank my parents for that…..but it took me along time to figure things out. I pray that your daughter and mine will turn things around soon. I have been in your home (card swap) and felt the spirit there. You are an amazing mother! never doubt that.

  • Liza August 29, 2011, 11:05 am

    Leanne, I have journeyed with you quietly on the Internet, appreciating your blog. Knowing this is a heart-wrenching journey. Our prayers are with you and for you and for your precious, much loved girl.

  • Angie August 29, 2011, 11:13 am

    So sorry to hear of this Leanne! I can only imagine the suffering in your house right now. Please know that you are making the right decision, even though it doesn’t feel like it! Sometimes as parents, we must make the hardest decisions, but there are the right ones. I can only pray for you and send you positive thoughts that things will work out in the end! Keep busy and keep moving forward my friend! Angie xo

  • Andrea Hunt August 29, 2011, 11:31 am

    I dont think that i’ve ever commented before…you are such an inspiration to me! With your family and with your creativity. I know that Heavenly Father will watch over your daughter, and give strength and peace to you and your family. He doesnt want you to hurt. Will be praying for your family (all of them!) And whatever else you may be thinking…you are not a bad parent. Promise.

  • Fay August 29, 2011, 11:50 am

    I’m so sorry. Parenting is so very tough. Harder than I ever imagined. Praying for your family.

  • Ashlee August 29, 2011, 11:58 am

    I’m so sorry it came to this, I know how hard you have been trying and how much everyone has been suffering while they have hoped for changes and hoped for a turnaround. I can’t wait to see you and put my arms around you and give you a huge hug. We def need to start a monthly lunch. Miss you, love you!

  • Janet @ I HEART My Glue Gun August 29, 2011, 12:02 pm

    This is so sad! Lifting you up knowing that the Lord is the ultimate comforter and healer, and WILL be with you during this painful trial!

  • Ali August 29, 2011, 12:06 pm

    Aww I am sorry. It sounds as though you really have no other options. As a parent you have to do what is right for your child and your family. You most certainly not a failure! You are a loving parent who is doing whatever you can for your child. I hope you start to feel better soon. Lots of hugs!

  • Kristi August 29, 2011, 12:13 pm

    I am so sorry for your pain and hurt. In my eyes, you have just become a hero. Maybe you don’t feel that way right now, and maybe your daughter does not think that right now. But hopefully, in the future, when she is healed and older and wiser, she will see that you have just made the ultimate sacrifice. Not because you don’t love her, but because you do! Hope strong the word of God! HE will provide all your needs!! I pray Jeremiah 24:7 for your daughter. I pray she will come back to a heavenly Father who will provide the void that for some reason she has.
    Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying! Romans 12:12

  • Jeannette August 29, 2011, 12:18 pm

    I just wanted to let you know I think you made the right decision. My parents sent my brother off to a Outward Bound program and then a private year round school when I was pretty young. I think he was about 16 as well. It was a hard road but he is such a better man because of it. I have no doubt in my mind if they hadn’t have sent him he would have died before reaching adulthood. It is a REALLY hard thing to do to send a child away, but a lot of the time when it comes to that it is just the thing they need. My brother needed to be around other kids struggling like him and adults who weren’t his parents to see how hard his life had become and how he didn’t want it to continue that way. I pray your daughter will see the woman she really wants to become and strive for that.

  • Anne Alagna August 29, 2011, 12:20 pm

    HUGS!! Reading your post today was like taking a page from my journal. 5 years ago I sent away my 16 year old daughter, to save the younger children. And until her younger sister hit that same age 2 years later, things were better. Then I had to make a decision about the next one and the two much younger children still at home. This time there werent the same options as before. This time there were obvious mental psychosis at play that needed to be dealt with. She spent nearly a year in and out (mostly in) of psychiatric hospitals and we finally had her home without much trouble for 6 months until she turned 18. I sighed relief, she had made it, we had gotten her there, with a high school diploma. But relief was short-lived when she ran away, having quit her meds, having no license to drive, no money and no job history… and she is gone. Poof.

    Our family life with the younger two has become so much more peaceful and enjoyable. But my heart aches for the time I lost with both my older girls and the mothering I was unable to give them, they were unable to receive from me. I am thankful everyday for the friends who took in the oldest and the hospital staff who helped the younger… but I feel like less of a parent somehow. But that is my self-imposed burden.

    The older turns 21 in a month. She finally realizes that moving her was the best decision for her and that she has greatly benefitted from it. She finally accepts and understands that my ex husband, her father, wasnt the good-guy and I wasnt the bad-guy. She is finally at peace and doing well as we all knew she could. It just took the right guidance from someone SHE trusted. And that wasnt me. I made the right decision, I did the right thing for her. And that is what makes me a good mother, even if it plagues my soul.

    Hang in there. These are tough decisions to make. Remember that you are making this decision for her as well as the younger kids. Remember that this is your selfless act for her good… because if you were selfish, you would keep her under your thumb thinking no one could do a better job than you.

    I hope you are able to find peace over this. But I also know that it can take years to come to terms with the decision. You are not alone in this. And I support you. I cry with you.

    If you feel alone, you may contact me anytime. Few have made these choices and even fewer are willing to talk about it.

  • Kari August 29, 2011, 12:21 pm


    I’m not sure if you remember we met that the Girls Night out hosted by Mandi from Vintage Revivals-I was a little star struck. Reading your post today hit a very tender spot with me and I had to share a few thoughts with you.

    When I was 14 I made the decision that I knew what was best for me and decided to turn my back on my family, my friends, and my parents. I become friends with people who didn’t have any standards and whose only concern was to “have a good time”.

    I fought with my parents daily-sometimes multiple times a day. I said rude, hurtful things to my siblings and closest friends that I wish with all my heart that I could take back.

    This went on for two years. For two years I abuse the people who were just trying to help me. I abused their trust and their love. And for two years, they never left my side. My sister’s would hug me as I beat, spat, and swore at them. My parents would come into my room and pray while I sat on the bed and yelled at them. My entire family banded together and never once stopped showing their love to me.

    It took two years for me to wake up but when I finally did they were there with open hearts and lots of love. They helped me on the long and difficult path back and helped me pick up the pieces of my life.

    It’s been almost 10 years-and there have been times where I’ve fallen away for periods of time, but each time I struggle I always have a family member there to support me, love me, and help me any way that they can.

    Looking back at the things I did and the way I treated the people I love devastates me-but I know that without them I would still be lost looking for a way home. I know what your going through-and I’m so sorry that your little girl has to go through this.

    But just know that when she comes through this-and with a mother and family like yours she will-that she’ll be stronger. The things she’s choosing to do right now will define her life-but not necissarily in a bad way. I’ve gone to hell and come back again-and now I know what it’s like to be so close to the flames. My decisions effected my life and made me a better person.

    Good luck with everything and just remember-she is still your little girl and even though she fails to show it-deep down inside she loves her Mom more than anything.


  • Stacy August 29, 2011, 12:52 pm

    Oh Leanne! I ache for you. I think we all have people in our families and our lives who we wish we could help but we are helpless. I can’t even imagine how it would be to have it be one of my children. I will pray for you. And for her. Love you.

  • Kari August 29, 2011, 1:03 pm

    Leanne- hang in there. I am sending hugs and love across the miles.

  • Danielle August 29, 2011, 1:05 pm

    One foot in front of the other. One day at a time. You will get through this. Your family will get through this.

  • Allison @ House of Hepworths August 29, 2011, 1:21 pm


    I’m so so sad for you and your family. I’m leaving a short comment just to give hugs, but I will be sending you a private email shortly with some more personal details.

    HUGS. You are in my thoughts.

  • Just Jaime August 29, 2011, 1:35 pm

    HUGS!! I’m so sorry! I have no idea how you are dealing with this. It would be so difficult. I’ve worked with teens like your daughter and it can be so frustrating. I pray that things improve.

  • Anjanette August 29, 2011, 1:49 pm

    So sorry. You and your family will be in my prayers.

  • Kris August 29, 2011, 1:53 pm

    Leanne, I read your blog frequently and when I read your recent post, it was like reading my families life for the past 10 years. My brother has struggled since he was 14. Drugs, alcohol, you name it that kid did it. He tore our family to pieces and then he married a woman you almost broke our family apart. The road has been very difficult, there has been much heartache, lots of tears and lots of praying. But, we have made it through and we continue to press forward. Staying strong as a family is so important. Hold on to the love you share with your kids and hubby. Your daughter will be thankful and grateful for what you did for her. Letting her go and having her realize that if she wants a better life it is up to her, is the best thing you can do for her. She has to fight her way back so she can suceed and beat whatever is bringing her down. You are definitely not alone in this fight, there are so many families struggling with wayward children. We as a family, will definitely say a little prayer for your daughter and family. You are an incredible woman and I can tell you are an amazing mother. I wish you the best and keep your chin up!

  • Heather August 29, 2011, 1:54 pm

    Hi Leanne. I’ve never posted before, but I love your website and all of the fun ideas and tips. My heart goes out to you and I just wanted to share a quote by Robert Millet that brings me comfort as I have struggled with my own child. You might want to read his whole book (cited at the end of the quote). Hang in there! ~Heather
    . . .the Lord knows the end from the beginning and as the prophet Joseph declared, all things–past, present, and future–are and were with him ‘one eternal now.’ Perspective. PERSPECTIVE. God deals with pain through and by virtue of his infinite and perfect perspective . . .all we need to do for the time being is to seek through fasting and prayer for a portion of our God’s perspective–his omni-loving patience, his long-suffering, his ever-open arms, and a glimpse of the big picture. Such a perspective will not only serve us well here, in the midst of our sufferings, but it will empower our souls and fashion us into the image of our Master, who is the personification of charity, or the pure love of Christ . . .And so we pray, we fast, we plead, and we implore. And, perhaps most important, we love those who wander, and we never, never give up hope. . . our Heavenly Father knows us one and all by name and knows perfectly our sorrows and our soul’s deepest longings. . .there are righteous forces at work that are beyond our capacity to perceive or comprehend. I know with all my heart that, ‘the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man [or woman] availeth much (James 5:16), and that in both time and eternity our God shall wipe away all tears.” (When a Child Wanders, Robert L. Millet, pp )153-155

  • Shelley Smith August 29, 2011, 2:22 pm

    Oh Leanne,
    I’m so sorry that this is all going on in your life right now! What a hard thing to go through 🙁 You are SO strong. And I personally think you are doing the right thing for her. You can just tell in this post that you love her more then life itself. That is what being a REAL mother is all about.
    You have all of my support and love from this side. Good luck with everything!

    Love you!

  • Diane August 29, 2011, 2:40 pm

    I fully understand. My daughter barely made it to 18 before she moved out on her own. I couldn’t trust her, she broke my heart. Time does soften things, but it never fully heals those wounds in my heart. My prayers are with you.

  • Teri August 29, 2011, 2:50 pm

    Hello Leanne, I love your website and, like Heather, never really post. I will make sure to from now on! You are human and only have as much strength as the next, I also have a 16 year old daughter, and believe me, I don’t think a day goes by where she doesn’t test me or my husband with something. You are right, you can only be helped if you WANT to be helped. It is so difficult when they dominate your entire family by their actions. You are so brave for posting and I admire your honesty. I wish you knew how much I understand this, really, I DO!!! Some days I am not sure if I want to confront her with things because I usually know the outcome, defense, anger, yelling, door slamming… etc. I too, wish that she knew what she puts us through. I do believe that one day they will realize it, but they just are not capable of reaching that point right now. You are doing what is best for everyone in your family and that is a heart-wrenching decision, my prayers are with you! <3

  • Becky P. August 29, 2011, 2:52 pm

    I don’t know the full situation, but my heart hurts for you and your family. My thoughts are with you.

  • Melissa August 29, 2011, 2:54 pm

    I’m so sorry for your trouble, I will be keeping you all in my prayers. Don’t feel bad about not answering comments or emails, don’t worry about your blog. Your family is more important, and your younger children are going to need you more than ever. Everyone in blog land can wait, and they won’t mind at all.

  • Theresa August 29, 2011, 4:38 pm

    Aww, I am so sorry…daughters are so much harder to raise than sons. My daughter put me thru hell. From the moment she turned 13 until she got to the age of 25 or so..we were always fighting. It got so ugly.. I got called every name in the book. I would feel the pure loathing radiating from her. She would run away, skip school, say it, she probably did it! We finally, finally are close to each other but it took years, and there is still a bit of uncomfortable feelings sometimes. All I can say is, things will get better..I have lived thru it..seen it with some of my friends..and we all have turned out just fine. Keep the line open no matter what. No matter what she says..keep telling her that she is loved no matter what she does. She will grow out of it.

    Hugs and good luck..

  • Ronda Batchelor August 29, 2011, 4:51 pm

    I feel your pain. About two years ago I had to move my son out for awhile. The hardest thing I ever did. It was gut wrenching. But we as a family made it through and were actually stronger in the end. You sound like you are doing every thing you can and You ARE A GOOD MOM!!! You can do hard things!!

  • Bobbie August 29, 2011, 7:26 pm

    Prayers for you and your family!!!

  • nebuchudnessar August 29, 2011, 7:38 pm

    My heart breaks for you.

    I will be praying for you and your family

  • Amy August 29, 2011, 7:47 pm

    I am so sorry for your heartach and sorrow. I can’t imagine the decisions you have had to make, but I know you have done a lot of praying for both the citation and your daughter. I am sure this is a hard thing to share, but I am glad you did because now you have others to help carry your burden and to help pray for you. I will be remembering your family in my prayers, and pray that God will wrap your family in His love and help see you through this trial.

  • Candice August 29, 2011, 8:14 pm

    I don’t really know what to say except that I’m sorry! My heart goes out to you! My thoughts and prayers are with you. Hugs!

  • Marcia Hron August 29, 2011, 8:33 pm

    I understand . . . sometimes we have to “let go and let God”. I will keep your family in my prayers.

  • Heidi Sharp August 29, 2011, 8:49 pm

    Please let me know if I can do anything. I am so sorry you are going this. You’re in my thoughts and prayer.

  • One who's been there August 29, 2011, 9:14 pm

    I am praying mightily for you and truly know how you feel. At the age of 15ish our son began a spiraling that went further and further away from us ending in a five year federal prison sentence. He is now 29. We begged, pleaded, grounded, gave-in, lied for him, “helped him” , forgave him, took him back in, threw him out, and above all ALWAYS LOVED HIM AND WANTED WHAT WAS BEST FOR HIM AS YOU DO FOR YOUR CHILD. The times you are facing will be hard, hard, hard, hard, and hard. I read your blog just now for the first time, but was moved to respond. The good news is that our son is now clean, out of prison and with the Lord’s help and grace taking one day at a time. He has a good job and is a responsible loving son. I know that many many times things don’t turn this way. I will be praying for you, your family, and your child EVERY DAY. Please cling to every prayer, know that you have done everything possible and the choices your child has made has led to these consequences. My husband and I have struggled for years with our own guilt, but have finally come to realize that our son’s choices resulted in his consequences. I know I have rambled (sp.) on, but wanted to know you are not alone, and others truly care. Bless you and yours.

  • Gwen August 29, 2011, 9:29 pm

    I’m praying for you, for her, for your whole family. It’s not easy being a parent, and sending away a child has got to be one of the hardest things ever. But you’re a good mom, and you’re doing it for the right reasons. I hope that you’ll have a Prodigal Son moment in your future, that she’ll come back to you the person you know she can be.

  • Laina @ VibrantSerenity August 30, 2011, 3:25 am

    I am so sorry you have to go through this. I was once a child like that. Sometimes you have to let go, and let them fly on their own before things will change. I hope that soon, she will come to her senses and realize what matters most in her life. You and your family will be in my thoughts.

  • Jen August 30, 2011, 9:51 am

    My heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Sometimes, the greatest gifts we give to our children don’t necessarily feel like a gift at all. But your courage and love can ONLY be for the better…on so many different levels…for those near and dear to your heart.

  • Anne August 30, 2011, 12:43 pm

    Your blog entry hit home for me. Even though things seem like they’re at their lowest and life will never be happy, know that it will. We went through the same gut wrenching ordeal when our son when he was in his teens. Our family was falling apart while we tried everything we could for our son. We had to make the decision to save our other three children and our marriage, so we booted John out of the house. It was horrible not knowing where he was or how he was surviving. After a while he came back home to live. Everything was better–for awhile–then we were back in the middle of it all again. It was then we found out he had a drug problem and we put him in a drug rehab program. It was a wrenching year and then gradually things got a little better. It was ups and downs, but never as down as it was in the beginning. We never thought he would ever achieve anything close to a happy, successful life. Today he is 37 and for the past 15 years he’s done well. He’s not where we would like him to be, but he’s so much further than we ever hoped for. He’s in a successful job, owns his own home, is married to a wonderful woman and they now have a five month old baby girl. They are happy and contented and we all love each other. Life is wonderful. So, my message to you is to love your daughter, continue to pray for her. Let her know how much you care and how she’s still part of your family. With time she’ll come around and you will all be the better from these trying times. Have great hope for all your futures. What you’re doing now will be the best thing you’ve ever done for your family. Just know that you have many who have walked in your shoes and know what the outcome can be. Hang onto our hope for you when you may seem to have none for yourselves. You all will survive and come out on top. God bless you.

  • Annie August 30, 2011, 1:03 pm

    I’m praying for you and your family.

    I want to let you know that I was that child. I was given opportunities to grow and change in my teen years and at first – I didn’t. I did after a while though and I’ve turned out ok. I think. :-} I know the prayers of those that cared for me worked. I came back around after about 3 years of all out rebellion. I’m thankful for those prayers. I’m thankful people cared when I truly didn’t.

  • Amy W. August 30, 2011, 2:16 pm

    You just be easy on yourself at this time.
    You’re grieving from a severe form of loss…and hope you take life in 10 or 15 min. increments if you have to til you feel a bit stronger again.
    I’ve not been placed in your shoes or your walk in life…infact the complete opposite..but with that said..there’s always struggles in other areas that bring about the tears, pain, sorrows with grief….and because of that…I can confidently write and reach out to you.
    I remember years ago, when my children were all of 8 and 2 years of age,(they are now 21 and almost 28) I went to hear a wonderful speaker…Billy Graham”s son-in-law married to his Billy Graham’s daughter Gi-Gi.
    He was sharing how they had a son,..and from the day he was born seemed like he knew it all. No one could tell the kid anything. Finally, they had to do the unthinkable….let him go. At the young age he was…they had to release him…and he went to live on the streets.
    He said for he and his wife, it was the most painful thing they both had ever had to do.
    (Sitting there, I was so moved…and convinced of this pain, as I could see it in his face)
    One thing he honestly shared with us was the shame…that this was Billy Graham’s Grand-son…and here
    they had to release him to the streets.
    Well, it does have a happy ending. The kid after a couple of years or so….did come back..but not to them…..he started talking to their neighbor friend.
    This was yet another lesson to learn as he and GiGi wanted to jump right in there and be the ones to help their son back to life, health, and spiritual well being…instead it was a neighbor their son was talking to.
    Their waiting proved to be so very beneficial…as their son did come back, cleaned himself up, got right with the Savior of his soul, enrolled in a Christian College of some type…..and as of late (about a year or so ago) I read on the internet that he’s now on the Pastoral Staff in a church in Southern Florida and is so very effective in his ministry.
    I share all of this to say….along with the hundreds of others who have shared with you….Never, never, give up Hope.
    You keep on keeping on in keeping the Faith!!!
    It WILL work!!!
    Take care and know I’ll be earnestly praying for you and your daughter.
    It’s all going to be OK!

  • Haley August 30, 2011, 4:12 pm

    It sounds like you know that this is the best thing for your daughter and that she has to grow away from the family for a time to get centered. My only advice is let those who love you help you and remind you there is no shame in doing what is best for your family, all of them.

    Take care!

  • Wallie August 31, 2011, 3:02 pm

    Congrats to you and your husband for being so brave. I can only imagine what you are going through right now.

    I had a friend that was sent away during high school…she said that her #1 thing that got her through it was that her parents wrote to her almost everyday. This helped her realize that her parents weren’t rejecting her. They weren’t abandoning her. She was very angry at the time and once she let go of that anger…once she decided that she wanted (that she needed) help…it was those exact letters and emails that made her realize that she was loved. That she wasn’t alone. Even though it was her parents that sent her away, they were still there for her. Even if it wasn’t physically. She didn’t respond to them for about a year, but they never stopped coming.

    I’m not sure if it would help in your situation, but the worst thing a child can go through is feeling abandoned by a parent. Let her know that you will always be there for her…that you love her. Show her.

    Sending good vibes to you and your family durning these hard times. I’m sure your positive outlook will help bring the outcome to a happy one. 🙂


  • Nike@ChooseToThrive September 1, 2011, 2:09 am

    My heart aches for you and your family. I have sat here for several minutes trying to find the right words of encouragement and support, but words fail me right now. I cannot imagine your anguish and heartbreak, but I know how deep your love and care for children and family must be. Sending hugs and prayers for peace your way.

  • somedaycrafts September 2, 2011, 2:38 pm

    It’s taken me 8 hours to think about what I should write and I still don’t have the words. Isn’t “the ability to choose” bitter sweet? Sometimes, it is awesome and sometimes, you wish there wasn’t that option available. I have a brother who has choosen a different path than what my parents taught us. Sad, but all of us have moved on and accepted it for what it is. He is adult and can do whatever he chooses. I’m sorry to hear about your daughter. I can tell you love her so much and that you are trying to do what it best for her. I hope she chooses to make the choices that will bring her real joy and happiness while she is away and when she comes back. In the meantime, try to feel good about yourself and what you are doing to assist her. You are an awesome woman and mom!

  • Dawn September 3, 2011, 9:16 am

    I am praying for you. For you, your daughter, your husband, and your other children. Remember, everything happens for a reason, even when we can’t see it at the time. Give your troubles to God. I will be thinking of you.

  • Gwen @ Gwenny Penny September 6, 2011, 7:12 pm

    I can’t even imagine having to make a decision like that. Continue to remind yourself that you are making decisions to ensure the future health, happiness, and safety of your entire family. Hoping for the best for you and yours.

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